Beautiful Lord

I’ve been struggling a lot with my reflection in the mirror lately. I look in the mirror and jump to my flaws. I look in the mirror and berate myself:

… You’re gaining weight with this intuitive eating thing, you look so gross

… Look at your tummy, that’s gross

… Your face looks so chubby

And I’ve realized that as I’ve become more critical of myself, I’ve also become more critical of others. I’m so ashamed and embarrassed to say that. I hate what these body dysmorphic thoughts have done to my mind. I don’t want to be the critical one. I don’t want to be the judgmental one. I know that's not who I am. I want to be the one who is accepting. The one who is loving.

This has lead me to think a lot about beauty and how I define it. In my twisted mind, beauty = skinniness. I feel beautiful when my face looks slender. I feel beautiful when my tummy feels flat. I feel beautiful when I see definition in my arms. This is not the way I want to define beauty. So I began asking God to change my view of beauty and I added a few new daily statements to my morning repertoire,

I believe I can change my definition of beauty.

I believe I can change the way I see beauty in myself and others.

But how should I define beauty? The other day, I heard the song, Beautiful Lord, and was captured by the use of the word beautiful in it - if you haven’t heard the song, take a moment to listen to it. The song describes the Lord as beautiful, but this challenges my twisted definition of beauty. I’ve never seen God. I have no idea if He has a flat tummy. And yet I don’t care! I would absolutely define the Lord as beautiful regardless of His tummy. I would absolutely say the Lord is beautiful regardless of the number on His scale. The song describes the Lord as beautiful because:

He is awesome

He is mighty

He is tender

He is Holy

He has mercy

He gives grace

He is a shelter

He has a gentle spirit

He is Majesty

If I don’t care about God’s tummy why do I need to spend so much time obsessing over mine? If God’s body has nothing to do with His beauty, why are physical attributes all that I focus on to define beauty? God is beautiful because of who he is, not if He has a 6-pack.

I think this is big. I think this is important for me to think about. Can I begin to see myself and others through this lens of beauty? Can I begin to redefine beauty and tell myself,

… I am beautiful because I have a gentle spirit

… I am beautiful because I am kind

… I am beautiful because I’m trying hard to get my mind right

… She is beautiful because of her confidence

… She is beautiful because of her hospitality and graciousness

… She is beautiful because of her strong will and fearlessness

I’m going to try. I’ve got to try. Society does NOTHING to help with this issue, but changing society’s views are (just a little) outside of my control. My mindset however, is entirely within my control. I need to start redefining the word beautiful and to use it how I use it to describe my beautiful Lord. Because of who I am and who she is and the amazing qualities we posses, not the muscle in our triceps or the tightness of our abs.

Your Journey

Does your definition of beautiful need some adjusting? How can you choose to start redefining beauty? Journal about it or comment below.