I’m a bit behind on updating my blog with my journey to find freedom from feeling crazy around food and body bashing. I wrote this reflection in March and while I’m already currently at a different place with Intuitive Eating (as it’s already May), I want to include this as an important piece of my journey.
There is something helpful and encouraging about learning from someone who has walked in your shoes. I found Jenna Free from You Ain’t Your Weight on Instagram and she has faced the struggle I face, maybe the struggle that you face as well. She has conquered this battle by learning to eat intuitively and by practicing self-love and now she counsels and coaches women to find that freedom themselves. When I saw she was hosting a free 5 day Intuitive Eating Challenge, I decided to enroll. Each day she released a short video on a closed Facebook group about Intuitive Eating. It was so helpful for me to hear these principles from someone who has actually been through this struggle and has beat it. Doing this challenge has helped me truly learn what intuitive eating is - instead of just guessing - and has given me practical, been there done that advice. So here is an update on my Intuitive Eating journey…
No longer angry when I’m full
I overeat because I find joy in food. Probably too much joy. It feels good, tastes good, so why stop? But Intuitive Eating means listening to your body and honoring your hunger and fullness cues. When I first started practicing intuitive eating I would get sad and kind of angry when I felt full so quickly into a meal. Like I didn't want something so good to be over. But now, when I feel full quicker than I expected, I'm okay. I’m fueled by how free I feel when I actually do listen to my hunger and fullness cues and that has been helping me put the fork down without anger. After all, food is just food. It shouldn't be my source of joy.
No longer angry when I’m hungry
I used to get angry, disappointed, and frustrated with myself when I got hungry. Like I was hoping to find a magical combination of food that would sustain me for hours on end until it was “time” to eat another meal. When you’re eating intuitively, if you’re hungry, you eat. You don’t need to starve yourself or spend the afternoon preoccupied thinking about food until 12:00 when you should eat lunch. I used to get frustrated when I felt hungry at 11. I got angry with myself if I was hungry 20 minutes after eating a snack. But that frustration and anger is going away now. I’m no longer punishing myself for being hungry, but instead honoring my body and what it’s asking for.
Positive statements are coming to mind more quickly
I do have moments where I think…
This intuitive eating thing is just going to make me fat
I think I’m gaining weight by eating like this
OMG my pants feel tighter today, this is awful
But very quickly I’ve been telling myself,
“I believe these changes will result in the abundant life God desires for me.”
I find so much power in that statement. Feeling crazy around food and letting diet culture and restrictive food lists rule my mind is NOT the abundant life God planned or wants for me. I might gain a few pounds on this journey, but I am feeling more and more confident everyday that those pounds are worth the mental freedom I am working towards. This is still the hardest part of the journey for me, but I feel I’m making big strides forward.
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