Intuitive Eating Reflection 1

Intuitive eating. Have you heard of it? Intuitive eating, as defined by the creators of the official term, Evelyn Tribole, MS, RD and Elyse Resch, MS, RDN, CEDRD, Fiaedp, FADA, FAND, is:

“An approach that teaches you how to create a healthy relationship with your food, mind, and body--where you ultimately become the expert of your own body. The underlying premise is that you will learn to respond to your inner body cues. On the surface, this may sound simplistic, but it is rather complex.  This inner wisdom is often clouded by years of dieting and food myths that abound in the culture.”

On the surface, it DOES sound simple, but for any of us who have ever been on and off the diet train it’s not so easy anymore. When I’m on a diet, let’s take Weight Watchers for example, I could easily have my whole day planned before I even get out of bed. I know what I’ll eat for breakfast and how many points that will be, my snacks, lunch, dinner, everything is planned. Portions are planned, food is planned. It’s easy right? But what about a craving for something sweet or salty? Or a last minute dinner invite with friends? Not part of the plan. Shame and guilt and preoccupation with food set in.

I’m so used to telling myself what I should eat instead of listening to what I want to eat or what my body actually needs that now my brain and stomach are all confused and can’t communicate or trust each other anymore. I am hopeful learning more about intuitive eating will help me take a step forward on my journey so I’m giving it a try. Here are some of my reflections so far:

Biggest success: I actually get to eat more.

I love this! When I don’t completely stuff myself at every meal (because now I’m learning to listen to my hunger cues, not depending on a list of rules about what I should eat), I realize I’m eating less, but more frequently. And since I love food, this is a good thing! For example, diet me would be more likely to overeat at dinner (I planned to eat this much so you better bet I’m going to eat it all) and not have room for dessert, but I might eat the dessert anyway and feel sick and shame and regret and guilt. Intuitive eater me doesn’t stuff myself at dinner (since I’m listening my body) and I realize I actually have room for dessert and I’m able to enjoy it without shame.

Biggest struggle: Fear of weight gain and hoping intuitive eating will result in weight loss.

I’m so dang fearful of gaining weight and I’m secretly (well not so secret… I’m writing a blog) hoping intuitive eating will result in weight loss for me. Just being honest. I’ve realized at some meals when I don’t feel very hungry and therefore don’t eat very much, I get excited and think to myself, Yes! I’m going to lose weight! Other meals, when I eat what I want and maybe a little too much (re-learning hunger cues is not as easy as one might think) I say to myself, this intuitive eating thing is going to make you gain weight. You’re not a good intuitive eater.

So how do I keep walking forward on my journey? I’m working to overcome my fear of weight gain by journaling about why I’m so fearful about gaining weight, and I’m also telling myself daily statements every morning to set me up for success:

… I believe I can gain weight and still be worthy of love

… I believe I can gain weight and still be confident and beautiful

… I believe these changes will result in the abundant life God desires for me

… I believe I can eat intuitively today

My hope is that these positive statements will replace my negative self-talk and help me embrace whatever intuitive eating means for MY body.

Resources

Intuitive Eating Book

Intuitive Eating Online Community

Your Journey

Does the idea of intuitive eating resonate with you? What parts of intuitive eating scare or challenge you? Journal about it or comment below!

The Power Of Social Media

Social media.

Do you have positive or negative thoughts when you see those words? On one hand, social media is a wonderful way to stay in touch with friends from seasons past or miles away. On the other hand, it’s often a killer of time that leads to feelings of comparison, shame, and jealousy. And I am totally guilty of falling into both the comparison trap as well as playing my highlight reel for all to see.

But setting that aside, I have suddenly found a new power in social media. Since starting my Journey With Me blog, I’ve also started a Journey with Me instagram account (@journeywithme.juliana). I’ve carefully and mindfully chosen who to follow on my Journey account. I’ve filled it with dietitians, nutritionists, licensed therapists, eating disorder recovery counselors, body positive activists, and other bloggers struggling with disordered eating and body dysmorphia. And it’s the most amazing thing! I love scrolling my instagram feed. Seeing that I’m not alone. Seeing encouragement. Seeing freedom happen. I had no idea this type of community existed until I put some hashtags on one of my pictures. I never thought of using social media as a way to find encouragement. As a way to share my journey. As a way to connect with others who share my struggle.

Experts are out there and want to help. For example, one book that has been really helpful on my journey is Body Kindness by Rebecca Scritchfield RDN, and one of her signature practices is “spiraling up” (you’ll have to read the book to get it). I posted a photo with #spiralup and to my amazement @rebeccascritchfield herself responded to my post and gave me great advice and encouragement!

Other women who have found freedom in their relationship food are out there and want to help. Through a maze of hashtags or maybe a “recommended for you” suggestion on Instagram I somehow found Jenna Free’s Instagram account (@youaintyourweight) when she posted about a free 5 day Intuitive Eating Challenge she would be hosting via her blog, You Ain’t Your Weight, and closed Facebook group. So I joined. It has been a great way to learn more about how to make Intuitive Eating my lifestyle (not another diet) and connect with an actual person who is mountains ahead of me on this journey.

I’m finding social media to be an incredible tool in my toolkit to help me take steps forward on this journey! If you want to get started on this kind of social media journey, some of my favorite inspiring Instagramers are:

• @eatingpsychology
• @win_the_diet_war
• @chr1styharrison
• @eatingrecovery
• @foodpeacedietitian
• @body_peace_liberation

Be sure to check out my instagram page as I’ll be reposting some of my favorite encouraging posts all week!

Your Journey

Have you even used social media to find encouragement? Who do you follow and find encouragement from? Comment below.

Podcast | Food Psych | Christy Harrison, MPH, RD, CDN

Have you heard the term “diet culture”? I hadn’t before I found Christy Harrison’s Podcast, Food Psych either, but my mind has been blown as I begin to learn about diet culture and realize how our society trains us to constantly want to lose weight and never be satisfied with our current bodies or lives. Christy Harrison simply describes her podcast as

“a podcast dedicated to helping you make peace with food and your body.”

I love that Christy Harrison has the education to prove she knows her stuff and we should listen up. She is a registered dietitian (RD), holds a Masters in Public Health (MPH), is a Certified Dietitian/Nutritionist (CDN), and certified intuitive eating counselor. Wow.

Start with: Episode #92: How To Break Free From Body Shame, with Fiona Sutherland.

I Can: Part 2

Make sure you’ve read “I Can: Part 1” before reading this post.

I continued saying, “I can” to the peanut butter pretzels at work and so I did. And I’m really struggling with shame. I feel like a failure. I feel unsure about this intuitive eating approach. I feel like I have no business sharing my journey with others.

I wanted to write this follow up post (to yesterday’s, I Can: Part 1, post) to shed light on how up and down this journey is for me. How I can feel so confident and empowered on my journey one day and so lost and weak the very next day.

I wanted snacks at my office. I chose to have snacks at my desk. I had been giving myself permission to eat as many peanut butter pretzels as I wanted without judgement in order to begin breaking down my “forbidden food” list and I had been experiencing freedom. But today I kept the snacks out on my desk as I worked, not in my drawer like I had on days past. I told myself, “I got this. I am rocking this new found ‘I can’ mindset.”

Before I knew it I had almost finished the entire bag. I didn’t stop to enjoy them. I didn’t savor them. I fell back into reaching for food anytime things got tough, or awkward, or I felt the slightest bit bored. Eating like this is not practicing body kindness. This is not practicing mindful or intuitive eating. This is some sort of twisted middle ground. Somewhere between wanting to let go of my “bad” food list while still having binge tendencies. Somewhere between experiencing freedom and engaging in self-sabotage.

So I am trying to show myself love and grace and kindness, and acknowledge that I don’t have to be perfect at this. It’s okay to have setbacks and failures. I feel icky today. But I am not going to give up. I am going to keep snacks at work and I am going to keep working on my mindset toward food.

Your Journey

Have you had similar setbacks on your journey? What brought them on? How have you overcome them? Journal about it or share a comment below!

I Can: Part 1

Listening to Trish Blackwell’s Podcast #199: Stop Fighting Food with Isabel Foxen Duke really brought awareness and gave a voice to the restrictive rules I realize I’ve put on myself around food. I say, things like, “I shouldn’t eat that” a lot, like A LOT. About a year ago I realized I was actually scared of a cookie. I legitimately felt fear when I thought of being around a cookie. Not normal. This podcast episode helped me understand that the more I restrict my diet and make a “bad food” list, the harder I’ll binge, the more shame I’ll add on when I do eat that food, and the more I’ll be obsessing about that food instead of enjoying life!

Here are some of my “bad” foods. My “I can’t” foods. They give me anxiety just thinking about eating them. And it’s no surprise they are also the foods I most associate with my binge eating:

1. Peanut Butter
2. Cookies (and cookie dough!)
3. Cheesecake
4. Chips
5. Cheese and crackers
6. Chocolates (Lindt anyone?!)
7. Peanut butter pretzels
8. Trail mix
9. Fresh bread (with butter!)
10. French toast
11. Pancakes
12. French fries
13. Pasta (especially in a cream sauce)
14. Milkshakes
15. Cinnamon rolls (basically any breakfast pastry)

If you don't struggle with disordered eating, this list might not seem "that bad" to you, but if my struggle is also your struggle, I have a feeling you can relate.

I felt like a logical next step was to begin telling myself “I can” towards the foods I’ve labeled as bad or restricted or forbidden.

… I can eat peanut butter.

… I can eat dessert.

… I can eat butter on my bread.

And it’s scary. Why am I scared? I’m terrified I’m going to gain weight if I start saying, “I can.” But I think I’m at a point where I realize it beats the alternative. I’m not really living life if I’m scarred of a cookie or I’m so weighted down by shame that I can’t be present or I’m so preoccupied with thinking, I want it, but I shouldn’t, but I really want it, but I know I shouldn’t, I’ll get fat, I’ll be unloveable, I’ll be unworthy, my husband will leave me. Yeah, that is not living!

If I’m going to allow myself to say “I can” to these foods, I first need to buy them and be around them. So I bought a bag of trail mix to keep at work. And some peanut butter pretzels. This is a BIG step for me, I do NOT keep snacks at work because I don’t trust myself with them. I spend all day preoccupied with the snack food, telling myself “No, no, no! Don’t eat it. Those are bad foods. They make you gain weight. You’ll never have the life you want if you eat those.” And then what happens? I end up totally binging on them. The forbidden fruit must be tasted!! (Zoolander anyone?)

But this is my journey of moving forward. So today I told myself, “I can” eat these delicious peanut butter pretzels. I even told myself, “I can eat this whole bag if I want. It’s okay.”

… I ate a few in the car on my way home, telling myself “I can.”

… I got to work the next day and all day I told myself, “I can eat these whenever I want. And if I want to eat them all, that’s okay.”

And what did I do? I actually didn’t want very many. It was like giving myself permission to eat as many as I wanted without judgement, also gave me freedom. I even woke up the next day and felt good about myself and my body! Who knew I could wake up feeling beautiful after eating peanut butter pretzels at work?

But my journey is not always forward. Read my short follow up, I Can: Part 2 to understand how up and down my journey can be at times.

Your journey

Did this resonate with you? Do you have a “good food" and “bad food” list? What’s on your list? Is there one you can pick today and choose to say, “I can” to? Journal about it or share your comments below!

Superfood Salad

Veggies on veggies on veggies! I started making this salad when my husband said he wanted to have more raw veggies in our meal planning repertoire. I got the original ingredient list and salad dressing from this recipe on The Roasted Root, but have altered it a bit to my liking.

So tonight we set out on the superfood salad adventure! This recipe makes A TON so be ready to share with others and eat it ALL week (but not longer than 6 days because that’s about when it starts to get a little funky).

The recipe calls for maple syrup in the dressing and I hesitate to add it in. I’ve labeled sugar as a “bad food” for so long that even adding it to a salad brings anxiety and shame and guilt. But this my journey to break free from my “bad foods” list. So maple syrup I added! All of it.

Start by washing and drying all of your veggies. I chose to start with carrots tonight, but the order really doesn’t matter. Two things I’ve learned about making this salad:

1. Cut the veggies roughly the same size before you put them in the food processor
2. Pulse each type of vegetable individually in the food processor for best results

Look at these lovely carrots!

Throw them in the food processor. We have this food processor and it’s fine.

And pulse and pulse and pulse until you reach your desired coarseness.

Throw it in the BIGGEST bowl you’ve got! (Thanks mother-in-law for this one!)

For the broccoli I like to separate the stems from the florets as much as I can. I have found this to make for easier food processing.

Place the stems in the food processor, pulse, empty.

Tada! Place the diced stems in the huge mixing bowl.

Now repeat with the florets.

And tada again! Place the dices florets in the mixing bowl.

Next up, those pesky beets! Clean up quick… They stain fast! Peel the beets and give them a rough chop before placing in the food processor. Then pulse and pulse and pulse!

Empty the beets in the mixing bowl and move on to the cabbage. I peel off the outer layer of the cabbage and then rinse. Give the cabbage a rough, but even chop.

Watch out for the harder middle core. I just toss it. It messes up the evenness of the food processing (just a little OCD over here).

And pulse and pulse and pulse. But not to much! The cabbage goes quickly!

All hail kale! Get in my food processor! I did two rounds of the kale.

Diced and lovely!

Mix up the bowl of awesomeness and marvel at the beautiful colors!

Add the dried cranberries and toss again.

Now it’s time for the dressing. Mix all the ingredients into a small mixing bowl or use a salad dressing shaker. My mother-in-law had this OXO Salad Dressing Shaker and the thing is AMAZING! Get one! Now!

Before...

After some shaking…

Pour all of the dressing over the salad, toss. Then serve or store. I love that you can add the dressing when you make this salad and don’t have to worry about adding it later when you take it for lunch!

Enjoy your veggies!

Salad

Carrots (2 is good)

Broccoli (2 heads would be good)

Beets, peeled (2 is good)

1 Small head of Red Cabbage

Kale (about 4 handfuls)

⅓ cup Dried Cranberries

Additional ideas: I’m sure brussel sprouts would be good, apple, mango, etc. Get creative!

Dressing

¼  cup Olive Oil

Juice of 2 lemons

1 tablespoon Fresh Ginger, Peeled and grated (or ¼ tsp ground)

2 teaspoons Whole Grain Mustard

2 teaspoons Pure Maple Syrup

Sprinkle of salt

Directions

Wash and dry all of your veggies. Pulse all veggies individually in a food processor to desired coarseness. Mix in a large bowl. Add dried cranberries. Mix all ingredients for dressing and pour over salad. Mix well.

Storage

I have found this salad keeps well for about 6 days (with the dressing on it!), but that’s the max. Sometimes I add more lemon juice and touch more maple syrup towards the end of it’s days to brighten it back up.

Your Journey
What's your favorite way to eat raw veggies? Comment below.